A message to our kids

Point of View

Posted

Many of you may be wondering why your adults have been behaving strangely since you woke up on Nov. 9. You probably know that America held an important election on Nov. 8. For most of you, it didn’t go the way your parents, relatives, neighbors and teachers expected. We are feeling a lot of things right now and we need you now more than ever.  

 That’s right. The people you look up to and depend on for comfort and security may now be looking to you for the same thing. Before you scratch your head and wonder what you, our children could possibly do to help us, it’s easy. Just be you.

 Many people in our country may actually appear happier than they have in years. We should all pray that our new president will figure out a way to make things better, but if he can’t and they don’t, then those who supported him will likely come to a difficult realization: they put too much faith in empty promises and vague solutions, and not enough faith in themselves and the basic goodness of the American people. 

At that moment, their happiness will evaporate like the mirage upon which it was built. That’s just a fancy way of saying they won’t be happy.

 But not all of us are happy now about the results of the election. Many of us have been angry, confused, disappointed and sad since November 9th. We are worried. Worried about the future. Worried that suddenly the country we thought we understood - the nation that is your birthright - is now changed forever. You may have even overheard us admitting that we are just plain scared. Some of you may feel the same way. You may have seen us shed a tear or even cry. We know it must be very upsetting for you to see us this way. Maybe you have cried too.

 Many of us feel guilty that we exposed you to behaviors and language on television that a child should never see or hear, least of all from a person running for the highest office in the land. We are struggling to find words to explain to you what happened and why; and how it’s possible that a woman standing on the edge of history could get more votes but lose an election.

 We are disappointed in our countrymen and women. Those of us who voted, don’t understand why others who have the same right - a right that Americans have died fighting for - decided not to exercise it.  

 We feel let down by the media. These are the people who are supposed to objectively (this is a good word to look up) tell us what’s going on in our nation and world. We don’t understand why they decided to focus on some things, but not others.  

 Perhaps the most upsetting thing is that we, your adults, feel responsible for not always setting the right example for you. We have raised our voices too often and not listened enough. We have mocked people whose lives we haven’t even tried to understand. We have applauded things that are hurtful and mean, and booed things that are good and right. In short, we have acted, well … like children. In so doing, at a minimum, we have made things more difficult for you, and at worst, we may have put your future at risk.

 But in the last week, these bad feelings may have turned into something more productive. Many of us have decided not to give up or give in. Not now, not ever. We will oppose intolerance and injustice for as long as it takes for love to trump hate. 

We are determined to restore decency and respect to our national conversations, and to “make America kind again.” It’s important to let yourself feel angry and sad sometimes, but it’s as important to get over it, pick yourself up and do something about it.

 The good news is that you can do something about it too. You have the power to change things.

 If we take the time together to really think about the lessons this moment in history offers us, then maybe something far better than a new president can come out of it for all of us.

 While we adults may not always follow the wisdom we have shared with you, now is a good time to remind ourselves of some of the basics ...

 Avoid and reject those who encourage you to think or do things you know to be wrong. Instead, seek out people and things that make you feel good about yourself and bring out the best in you.

 Be respectful, not only to us, but to each other and yourself. When you find yourself in a disagreement with someone, try to understand their point of view before you try to convince them that yours is right.

 Do your homework and your chores, and don’t seek shortcuts or make excuses.

 Fight for what’s right and stand-up against the things that are wrong. 

Be grateful for the people who love you and do not take for granted the many blessings in your life.  That includes your family, your community, and your country … even when they reveal themselves to be imperfect … like now.

 Here’s the extra credit … many of us have recently lost some combination of friends, faith, and patience. We need your love, your innocence and your hugs.  Demand that we play with you because we are so injured and exhausted that we don’t even know what’s good for us now. Ask us to help you understand what’s going on. The conversation might reveal the answers to both of us. Spend time with us, even though we may not be the best company at the moment. Finally, inspire us by your example to be the best people we can be.

 You, our children, are the real medicine that will help cure us and our damaged but resilient democracy. We may have lost our faith in some things, but we will never lose our faith in you.

 Cliff Stanton is a former PA co-president of PS 24 and a father of three.

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