Some reflections on life in the kitchen

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A few years ago, I woke up and asked myself why I decided to become a cook. It was one of those moments years after parents’ paying for college, my investment in culinary school, long hours working as a personal chef and even longer hours working in a restaurant, when I had to have a come-to-Jesus moment, so to speak.

I could have been a lawyer, a teacher, a publishing professional or just about a million other things my fellow high school and college classmates were doing. Should, coulda, woulda.

My bank account was low, my parents were kinda giving me the old I-told-ya-so speech ad nauseum and I’d just left a job at a top restaurant that was probably one of the best employment experiences I’d ever had. So I was a little depressed and, to be honest, floundering about in a place of very sad, and somewhat annoying, self-pity. 

Remembering my grandmother’s words, “you’ve got five minutes to feel sorry for yourself and then it’s time to move on,” I wallowed in my muck for way longer until that morning when I came to the question, “Why? Why cooking?”

Looking back, there was nothing else that made me feel closer to people than getting to stand beside them in a kitchen. There was nothing like the smell of chicken soup, bubbling away at the stove in my mom’s kitchen, or the racket and fun of watching my aunt and uncle dance around each other, snapping jokes, chopping vegetables and frying schnitzels and homemade French fries. There was nothing like coming into my Korean college roommate’s mom’s home and smelling her dae Duk for the first time.  

In a moment, I realized, “Danielle, you are totally missing the boat.” How lucky was I to live in New York City, with countless people of all different backgrounds, and that right here, just outside my door, was an infinite opportunity to learn recipes that came from all over the world.

So there it was. I wanted to cook with people. Just regular people cooking real recipes that had been passed down generation to generation. So I started doing just that. I’ve made dal with Anitha, chicken paprikash with Eve, parathas with Arvind, manti with Onur, peas and rice with Vanessa and today, pupusas with Rhina.

It’s been an amazing ride spending time in the kitchen with these people and discussing topics from politics to love, technique to women’s issues, life, death, celebrations and just about every human topic one could imagine. It all unfolds as I stand there cooking beside someone.

As you read What’s cooking over the next few months, I’ll occasionally share these recipes with you.  I invite you to follow me on Facebook and Instagram by adding my name to see pictures, watch videos and read about who I am cooking with and what we’re making. Enjoy! From my kitchen to yours.

What's cooking, Danielle Rehfeld

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