Celebrating National Caregivers Day

Caregivers are used to focusing on the person they’re caring for, often neglecting their own well-being. Sometimes, they don’t even realize how much it’s affecting them.”

Elizabeth Alvarado

Feb. 21 is National Caregivers Day. Marked annually on the third Wednesday in February, it’s a time to recognize the vital role that caregivers play in supporting those who are elderly, ill or disabled and shed light on the deep emotional impact caregiving carries.

It's been over a decade since Kingsbridge resident Ian Jacob became a caregiver for his now 92-year-old mother, Miriam. Initially, her needs were relatively simple – help with everyday tasks, like grocery shopping and cleaning. He said he had never imagined the burden would be so significant that he would have to leave the workforce and resort to full-time caregiving. 

In 2020, Miriam’s health took a sharp decline. Jacob was at his Kingsbridge apartment when he heard a loud thud from the unit upstairs, where his mother, then 90, lived.

“I raced up the stairs, and I’m knocking on her door, but no one answered,” Jacob said. “Eventually, I got into the apartment. She took a big fall and I found her in the kitchen slumped on the floor.”

This struggle is all too familiar for many unpaid family caregivers like Jacob. It’s a journey that often begins with small tasks but gradually evolves into a more demanding role that can have emotional and physical tolls. The challenges of caregiving can be profound; for many, it becomes an invisible weight they carry daily.

There are more than 60 million adults over 65 nationwide, a number that is only growing, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. The senior population rose by nearly 40 percent between 2010 and 2020, an unmatched surge since the late 1800s. Projections show the aging population is expected to make up 22 percent of the U.S. population by 2040, compared to the current 17 percent.

About two years ago, burned out and needing more than just an empathetic ear, Jacob finally discovered a community of others walking in the same shoes as him. Desperate for a sense of support, he joined a Facebook group called Caring for the Elderly, where he found the raw, vulnerable conversations he had been seeking.

“It’s not for the weak of heart, but this is real stuff,” Jacob said. “There’s a lot of venting and complaining. Even though you’re often alone in it, at least there are people going through the same thing.”

Most recently in November 2024, Miriam landed in the hospital after a stroke.

According to the Department for the Aging, Jacob is one of more than four million unpaid caregivers in New York. As the senior population continues to spike, the need for caregivers is only growing – as is the burden.

 A 2021 study by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) found that more than 70 percent of family caregivers experience significant emotional strain, with more than half reporting symptoms of anxiety or depression.

In recognition of National Caregiver Day, Riverdale Senior Services (RSS), located at 2600 Netherland Ave., is raising awareness of the less-discussed side of caregiving – particularly the critical need for respite and relief.

RSS’ Adult Day Program for Memory Loss is one of its most popular respite programs. It allows caregivers to step away from their role, knowing their loved ones are in safe hands and allowing them to reclaim agency over their day, even if temporarily.

“Caregivers often come in already burdened and burned out,” said Elizabeth Alvarado, a social worker and director of clinical services at RSS. “When they come here, it’s a place for them to relax and process whatever is happening in their lives. It’s a lifeline for them.”

Support begins from day one with an intake assessment that considers not only the senior’s needs but the caregiver’s as well. This personalized approach to caregiver support is at the heart of the program’s success.

“We sit with the caregivers and assess their mental health and physical needs,” Alvarado explained. “Caregivers are used to focusing on the person they’re caring for, often neglecting their own well-being. Sometimes, they don’t even realize how much it’s affecting them.”

One family caregiver, Ellen, who asked not to share her last name, is a regular of the day program, along with her 95-year-old mother. In 2014, her mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. Ellen’s caregiving journey began with simple tasks, like buying groceries and cooking, but as her mother’s condition progressed, Ellen became a full-time caregiver, much like Jacob.

“I don’t know what we’d do without this program,” Ellen said. “It’s the only real support I feel I have.”

But respite doesn’t stop with the Adult Day Program. Alvarado offers one-on-one counseling, often guiding those with loved ones in the later stages of dementia.

For those who need further support, a peer-led support group allows caregivers to share their experiences, lean on one another and find solace in the shared understanding of their struggles.

The group, funded by the Geriatric Mental Health Initiative, is available on-site or remotely via Zoom, allowing caregivers of those with memory loss to participate remotely on the first and third Wednesday of every month at no cost.

“A lot of them are seniors taking care of their elderly spouses, who just day by day are forgetting more and more,” Gidalthy Estevez, a social worker who leads the group, said. “They are supporting each other through their specific shared experiences and helping each other navigate.”