To the editor:
Come one, come all and check out the newest addition to our neighborhood.
The Henry Hudson RV, Trailer and Truck Park, located in the heart of beautiful Riverdale. We offer free long-term parking to any barely running vehicle — the more beat up the better. All are welcome to bring box trucks of any size, old ambulances, vans, RVs, pick-ups with trailers, 18-wheeler cabs — we currently host both red and white — and even the 18-wheelers themselves.
Vehicles from all states are welcome. But hurry, word is spreading quickly and spaces are going fast. As a bonus, little or no enforcement by the 50th Precinct or the DOT means no hassles for you! Need a free storage unit?
While others pay hundreds of dollars a month for storage facilities, you can pack your belongings in oversized trash bags and stuff them into your truck or RV.
Living in your vehicle? No problem. Where else in the country can you park and live in a nice residential neighborhood for zero down and zero dollars a month? Best of all the residents of Riverdale pay all taxes and fees to maintain the neighborhood streets for you.
We’ve made it easy. Generators and flammable gas cans — especially those sitting in the street — are welcome.
Blacking out of your vehicle’s windows is suddenly legal, and there are plenty of trash cans for your personal garbage. It’s secluded at night so no one will notice as you dump your urine and feces on the side of the road.
Blight to the neighborhood? It’s OK. Those in charge of enforcing the laws don’t care.
The Henry Hudson RV, Trailer and Truck Park. It’s the best deal in the city.