Tote bags are just not on the menu

This thief puts a whole new twist on the classic dine and dash.

Police say someone walked into a diner on West 231st Street on Feb. 24, reached over the counter, and tried to snag a tote bag. The woman it belonged to, however, wasn’t going to give it up that easily, managing to wrestle her property back after a brief struggle.

The would-be tote bag-snatcher ran from the diner, police said, only to be apprehended a few blocks away.

Another day, another stolen CR-V

Regular readers know that stealing a Honda CR-V is somewhat of a tradition within the criminal underworld in this corner of the Bronx.

So it comes with no surprise that on the night of Feb. 4, a thief snatched a 2021 CR-V, which police valued at $30,000, parked on the 5400 block of Fieldston Road.

The owner parked the Honda there, only to return the next day to find it missing.

Police continue to investigate.

Won’t you be my Valen-crime?

The only thing police want stolen on Valentine’s Day are hearts. Unfortunately, not enough people listen to law enforcement, and money is targeted instead.

Instead of getting a box of chocolates from a crush on Feb. 14, one woman in North Riverdale received a text from her bank informing her she was late on her credit card payment. It turns out someone had intercepted her check to the bank in the mail, “washed it” clean of her payment information, and changed the dollar amount from $1,300 to $4,500 — payable to them.

Police are investigating.