After lifetime of caring for others, former Riverdale resident searches for kidney donor

For most of her life, former Riverdale resident Jeanne Monaghan never knew she had only one kidney.

Having raised a family without issue, there was little reason for her to suspect otherwise. It was not until her mid-40s that the discovery was made during a routine test for suspected gallbladder issues.

“I said, ‘How did I have two children and no one ever found that out?’” Monaghan, who now lives in Inwood, said, recalling the moment doctors shared the news. “They said because they don’t look at your parts. They look at the baby’s parts.”

For decades, the condition posed little problem. Born with a single, slightly enlarged kidney, Monaghan lived what her daughter Danielle Tiboni described as a full and active life spent raising two children, working and supporting her family without interruption.

Over the years, a series of serious health challenges began to take their toll. 

In 2014, Monaghan was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent chemotherapy and radiation. She pushed through treatment and emerged cancer-free. But the treatments that helped save her life also led her to develop diabetes.

Years later, doctors discovered her aortic valve was narrowing, requiring open-heart surgery during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“I could hardly have any visitors, and it was a very depressing time for me,” she said.

Now, at 73, her kidney is failing.

“Her kidney is kind of just hanging on by a thread right now, so we’re really trying to find a living donor before she has to go on dialysis,” said Tiboni, a breast cancer survivor. “We’ve been monitoring her very closely, and luckily she doesn’t have a lot of symptoms yet, but she’s right on that border and we’re trying to keep her there as long as we can.”

Doctors, Tiboni said, have made clear that a transplant is inevitable. While Monaghan has not yet begun dialysis, she is just above the threshold where it would be required. That slim margin has created a growing urgency among her family and friends, who are working to find her a donor before her condition worsens.

Years prior, Monaghan’s own mother underwent dialysis after losing a kidney, a process so grueling it ultimately led her to choose to stop treatment.

“It wasn’t a quality of life,” Tiboni said. “My grandmother was very sick and she ultimately chose to stop dialysis and die. So it’s a big trigger for my mom to really not want to go on dialysis and we’re trying really hard to avoid that if we can.”

In the meantime, Monaghan is doing everything she can to maintain her health. Physically, Monaghan said, she still feels capable, but the fatigue has become constant, slowing her down as the day goes on.

“I’m tired all the time,” she said. “I can get up in the morning, do things, but then I get very tired.”

She currently follows a strict renal diet and now lives with Tiboni, her grandchildren and extended family.

“She’s like, ‘All I want is to just be there for my grandchildren.’ That’s what keeps her going every day,” Tiboni said. “She lives with us now, and being around the kids, taking care of them, that’s what gives her the strength to keep pushing.”

That sense of devotion has long defined Monaghan’s life. She previously worked in the public school system, helping families and guiding children for several decades.

“She always puts everybody first,” Tiboni said. “That’s just who she is, she’s always taking care of everyone else. I just feel like she deserves somebody to take care of her for once.”

Friends describe her in much the same way. Carolyne Hoare, a longtime family friend for whom Monaghan is like a second mother, echoed how she has always been a source of strength for those around her.

“She’s kind, she’s loving, she has the biggest heart for everybody, and she’s always been there for people no matter what,” Hoare said. “She’s a quiet warrior. She doesn’t put her burdens on anyone else, she just keeps going.”

That quiet strength has carried Monaghan through profound loss as well.

In 2001, her son was killed in the September 11 attacks while working as a carpenter in the World Trade Center. In the aftermath, Hoare said, Monaghan became the person who held her family together, even as she carried her own grief.

“She was the powerhouse behind holding all the pieces together,” Hoare said. “Even when she was going through something unimaginable, she was still the one everyone leaned on.”

Monaghan herself does not describe it as strength so much as responsibility.

“I said, ‘I have a husband and a child at home, am I supposed to just fall apart and cry every day?’” she said. “I can sit in my room and cry every day if I want to, but who is going to help? I need to get up, I have a daughter to look after and a husband to take care of.”

Now, those who have long relied on her are trying to show up in return.

The search for a donor has stretched on for nearly two years. There have been moments of hope through potential donors that seemed promising, but each has ultimately fallen through due to medical complications or incompatibility.

Tiboni said those interested in being tested as a potential donor can do so through Columbia University’s kidney transplant program, where applicants can register under Jeanne Monaghan’s name and begin the screening process.