God as witness

1. On Tuesday, at 7:30 a.m., a 2012 Lexus reported stolen from 5625 Palisade Ave. turned up in the most unlikely place — the St. Margaret’s parking lot at West 261st Street and Riverdale Avenue, with the man accused of stealing it sleeping behind the wheel, police said. Cops said they knocked on the door and woke up the man, who was also arrested two years ago for stealing a car and whom they believe is behind the recent spate of car break-ins in North Riverdale. The suspect, himself a North Riverdale resident, has a police record that indicates a history of substance abuse. The case is being brought before a Bronx grand jury.

On Monday at around 4:20 p.m., a man who works for the Bronx District Attorney’s Office was struck with a bat by the boyfriend of his baby’s mother at 92 Van Cortlandt Park South, police said. Cops said the man was able to defend against the blows but that his hand was slightly injured in the process. The suspect and the victim’s ex — who is said to have encouraged the beating — were both charged with second-degree assault minutes after the attack.

A woman told police that two scammers approached her at West 231st Street and Riverdale Avenue at around noon on Nov. 14. One man said he was from another country and showed her a box full of money he claimed to have found, police said. Another man got involved in the conversation and the first man told the victim that he would split the money with her if she would make the good-faith move of contributing $20,000 of her own cash. Police said the pair drove her to Bank of America at 3508 Johnson Ave., where she withdrew $20,000, which they drove off with, heading south while she was left figuring out the scheme on the sidewalk. Because the duo did not enter the bank, police said there is no video surveillance of them. The case remains open.

Police said that a bouncer working outside of 123 W. Kingsbridge Road, was slashed by a suspect he tried to remove at 4 a.m. on Nov. 10. The bouncer was allegedly removing the suspect after a fight, when the suspect pulled out a razor and slashed him in the face, leaving lacerations above his left eye and on his nose and chin. Police said the suspect then took off in a blue Lexus. The case remains open.

It was 8:50 p.m. and a man had just finished delivering food to an apartment in the Ft. Independent Houses on Nov. 6, when five people confronted him near the exit and told him to hand over his money, police said. Officers said the victim resisted and was punched and kicked by all five men. About $100 was stolen from him but he was not seriously injured, according to police.