What started as a housewarming party became a surprise wedding in Riverdale

Friends and family gathered at Stuart Chen-Hayes and Sosimo Aparis’ eclectic Riverdale apartment May 31 expecting to celebrate a housewarming party. Instead, they found themselves attending a wedding.

Guests spent the afternoon admiring the couple’s newly renovated one-bedroom dwelling, touring vibrant artwork displayed throughout the home and listening to heartfelt speeches celebrating Aparis’ recent academic achievements: an associates degree in early childhood education from Bronx Community College and a 3.92 GPA. The first in his family to hold a college degree, Aparis will start his first year at City College this fall with his sights set on a bachelor’s in early childhood education.

Under the guise of a housewarming and graduation party for Aparis, the gathering was complete with friends catching up over sushi and Taiwanese boba teas, neighbors mingling and visitors taking in sweeping views of the Hudson River from the apartment’s windows.

However, the event took an unexpected turn when Aparis got on one knee and proposed to Chen-Hayes in front of the crowd. Before guests had fully processed what had happened, a wedding officiant in drag entered the room.

“Welcome to our gay wedding,” Chen-Hayes announced, drawing gasps, applause and laughter from family members, friends and neighbors gathered both in the apartment and on Zoom, watching from around the world.

The surprise wedding was the culmination of a plan the couple had kept secret for months, Chen-Hayes, a professor and program coordinator of counselor education and school counseling at Lehman College, shared with The Press.

He and Aparis met on the dating app Hinge and had their first date at Lolo’s Seafood Shack in Harlem three years ago. The couple got engaged last fall during a trip to Taiwan. Aparis had just arrived after a 16-hour flight when Chen-Hayes proposed from the back seat of a taxi.

Rather than immediately sharing the news, the lovebirds decided to keep the engagement private while planning something bigger.

“Let’s be really funny, and let’s shock the heck out of people,” Chen-Hayes said of their plans.

The idea eventually evolved into a combined housewarming party, graduation celebration, engagement and wedding.

Throughout the afternoon, guests listened to speakers reflect on the couple’s relationship and toured a home filled with artwork, books and personal touches collected over the years. The gathering brought together friends from different parts of the couple’s lives, including academics from Lehman College and beyond, activists, former students, neighbors and family members joining remotely from Taiwan, Canada and England.

Longtime friend and activist Pauline Park said the event reflected Chen-Hayes’ ability to build community.

“This wedding was perfect,” Park said. “He’s a great organizer, so he organized this whole thing. It was basically a kind of a surprise party for everybody. It’s wonderful to see everything together — academics, community members, old friends and newer friends.”

For many guests, the surprise itself became one of the most memorable parts of the afternoon.

“After we know the Easter bunny isn’t real anymore, we don’t really get surprises because it all feels compromised, but people don’t know the real fun,” said Melissa Ockerman, a friend of the couple.

The ceremony was officiated by Prince Powderpouffe, the drag persona of Manhattan-based officiant Eric Strauss. Dressed in a sparkling, jewel-adorned ensemble, Powderpouffe arrived just moments after the proposal to turn the space into a wedding venue.

Strauss has spent the past decade building a career that combines drag, costume design and wedding officiating. After becoming ordained around 2015, he began performing ceremonies before eventually turning it into a business that now takes him throughout the tri-state area.

When Chen-Hayes and Aparis contacted him, Strauss said, they immediately stood out.

“They were very warm, very inviting,” he said. “They knew exactly what they wanted, like to the tee.”

Part of Strauss’ process involves learning each couple’s story and weaving personal details into the ceremony. For Chen-Hayes and Aparis, that included references to their first date, their surprise engagement and the community they had built around themselves.

According to Chen-Hayes, hiring a drag officiant fit both the spirit of the celebration and the couple’s sense of humor.

“We wanted something celebratory, something really zany, and something totally fabulous,” he said.

The choice also reflected the couple’s commitment to celebrating queer identity at a time when LGBTQ+ rights continue to face political challenges nationwide.

“It’s so important that queer and trans people fight back,” Chen-Hayes said. “The best way we can fight back is things like getting married.”