Parking tickets are a nightmare

I had a nightmare!

I dreamt that I was floating above a room where a number of people were gathered. I looked around and realized that the room was the city council chamber and I was the proverbial “fly on the wall.”

(I will use the following abbreviations: CP=chairperson, MOC=member of council)

CP: I called this special meeting because the city is in trouble. We are broke, bankruptcy is not an option. Raising taxes or establishing new taxes are off the table. Suggestions?

MOC 1: How about a pedestrian license? Drivers need a license to drive in the city why not charge people to walk in the city?

MOC chorus: Nah, WE are not going to pay to walk in the city!

MOC 2: We can license buyers. Stores need a license to sell, why not have a license to buy?

MOC chorus: Nah, WE are not going to pay to shop in the city!”

MOC 3: I GOT IT! Let’s establish a license to get a license.

MOC chorus: Nah, WE are not going to pay to get a license to get a license!

And on, and on, and on.

CP: All good ideas but not for now.

MOC 4: How about hitting motor vehicles for more money? Parking violations should be a good source as owners usually act as individuals and their voice is not heard by enough people to cause a ruckus.

CP: What do you have in mind?

MOC 4: In the past we posted ambiguous and misleading signs, motor vehicles were ticketed and monies were collected. Then for the most part we had to make some (but not all) signs more understandable. That of course cut into our collections. How about issuing violations to legally parked vehicles?

MOC chorus: How can we do that?

CP: We can do anything we want, go on.

MOC 4: We tell the agents to write a violation whenever and wherever they see a vehicle parked. Let the owners fight it, most will not.

MOC 5: Yes, but doesn’t the agent have to sign an affidavit under penalty of perjury that the vehicle was parked illegally?

MOC 4: We can promise not to prosecute.

MOC 6: Besides that the agent can always use the good old standby “I was just following orders.”

MOC 4: Good point. I should have thought of that.

CP: What about those who plead not guilty in person, by mail or online.

MOC 4: Judges and/or administrative law judges can always decide that the evidence presented was not convincing.